Robbo 10: W**kin Frankel - Click On My Face To Listen!

Monday, 18 August 2014

Robbo's Crystal Ball

For the first time ever I was unable to catch even a bit of Linekerian smirking on the first day of the Premier League season. I was camping - the tented kind - with the little 'uns and out of reach of all but the merest signal.

Nevertheless the car radio was somehow able to relay the delightful news that as far as Old Trafford is concerned it's Moyesery unconfined. Van Gaal's a great coach but you'd need Jesus Christ himself to turn the Man U piss-water into a decent claret during one pre-season. 

Happily, I've been able to digest this season's opening chapter at the Theatre of Dreams (and that is pretty all they can do right now - dream) and there are holes in that squad that makes a tramp's underpants look well put together.

Van Gaal's face is a landscape all of its own and I have a feeling we're going to get used to his strange Kenneth Clarke in the Hall of Mirrors countenance as he glowers through listless and scruffy performances for much of the next season. The man's not stupid - he's already told his employers that, in so many words, the squad's a bit shit. 

But this no time to gloat... it's time to put my Teesside tonsure on the line with me predictions for this season's Premier League. The first weekend has seen no one embarrassed, especially. The time will is fast approaching when an away point at Old Trafford will feel a little paltry. Indeed both Arsenal and Liverpool were a tad fortunate to scrape wins against plucky sides. But how will it pan out?

Here goes:

1. MANCHESTER CITY.

Too much of everything. It will depend a little on the fitness of Toure and Kompany, but even without Aguero there's plenty upfront to keep them nudging ahead. Even Dzeko's back-heeling into the path of sprightly midfield tinkers these days. First with more to spare than you'd think.

2. CHELSEA

Mourinho's expected to make the magic work this season but I'm not so sure. Like an average high street, the team's frontage has been ripped out and replaced by a Costa. Fabregas, one-time Gooner wunderkid turned bit-part Barca boy, holds the key to the midfield, but even Jose can't cobble together the champions that quickly.

3. ARSENAL

Look they've won something. On the tube in that London, they're advertising Arsenal stadium tours where you can 'see the FA Cup'! No underplaying the value of that goblet at the Emirates eh, Arsene? Sanchez will help, they're awash with terrific attacking midfielders, natch, but one clobberer wouldn't harm em. Tiote has been mentioned. That's clobbering with knobs on.

4. LIVERPOOL

No Suarez. Then again, he wasn't always around when he was a Liverpool player. I've heard it suggested that they'll cope. Erm, they won't. Any more than a yacht copes on a motorway. But they'll get 4th.  And when Luis eats an entire arm of Sergio Ramos they'll realise it could have been worse.

5. MANCHESTER UNITED

Van Gaal's too cute a dictator to allow United to potter blindly into more oblivion, but it's going to be a slow start and they'll pay for that. Van Persie, Mata and Rooney are sure to click at some point but at the other end there's barely anyone you could properly call a defender.

6. TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR

You can't help feeling that an either/or of Soldado (great nose, but not for goals, sadly) and Adebayor (as stroppy a madam as there is in the competition) might just trip 'em up but Pocchetino knows how to coach and that means they'll improve on the erratic, partially successful and patently undermined Tim Sherwood. Not that they'll get higher than 6th. Plus they have Europa League nonsense to thrash around in.

7. EVERTON

Martinez has done his best to reel in some decent signings but pre-season wasn't all that clever. Be interesting to see which Lukaku shows up - the lumbering clodhopper that Belgium discovered or the bulldozing hitman that he became when on loan. Then there's the Europa League. It's a punishment for finishing 5th I tells ya.

From here on in it's a blinking lottery. You can make a case for all of them going down. Still someone's going to punch above their weight so it may as well be...

8. STOKE CITY

Yes, I know they lost at home to Villa but Sparky had em working okay and I'd like to see the ball on the grass attitude rewarded. Look I know it doesn't make sense but neither did Sunderland getting safe last year. It's a funny game is foot..blah blah blah.

9. SOUTHAMPTON

Koeman knows what he's doing. Always liked the bloke. We had so much in common. Apart from ability. Southampton looked good at Anfield and if he can keep what remains of the decimated squad he'll get 'em playing well.

10. NEWCASTLE UNITED

If Pardew can keep his head - out of people's faces - then you can see the Geordies getting a bit of stability too. I like the look of the Pepe la Peu looky-likey Riviere and they should have enough up front to just about make the top half.

11. LEICESTER CITY

The crisp-eaters were seriously good last year and I think they'll be bleeding hard to beat this year. There's nowt much to worry about if you're the opposition but then you'd have said the same about Palace last year.

12. HULL CITY

If you are asked to write out a list of Premier League teams form memory, Hull would be the last one you'd think of. And that probably goes for people who live in Hull. They've looked pretty stable under Brucie, mind. The scruffy win at QPR is the type of thing they're getting good at.

13. SUNDERLAND

Miraculous escape last season, surpassed by that rarest of things, a Lee Cattermole piledriver. Poyet should have a bit of continuity now, and if Rodwell doesn't get a nosebleed playing first team football they'll cope okay.

14. SWANSEA CITY

Encouraging start for the Swans. I'm very surprised no one's popped up for Bony, and how misnamed is that fella? Bony, Bonny, whatever, he's a top striker. I'm somewhat gobsmacked that Spurs let Sigurdsson go and kept Paulinho. Like keeping an ass and selling a stallion. Monk seems a good lad so I hope Swansea will be fine.

15. WEST HAM UNITED

I kind of hope I'm wrong here. Big Sam has been urged to play a more diverting brand of football by his paymasters, but it's like encouraging sloths to go jogging. Allardyce has his way. And it works, sort of. So dull as it is, they'll still be around this time next year. Just don't wake me up if he's still there too.

16. WEST BROM

Look, Baggies fans, the idea that midtable obscurity awaits you is preposterous. You're West Brom. Up and down like an adolescent todger. Alan Irvine is an unknown quantity, but not as mysterious as the stripeless kit. What the hell was that? It looks like a shirt that's pretending to be a club shirt, summat you'd buy for your local kiddies team. 16th, but on goal difference. Naturally.

17. ASTON VILLA

Lambert deserves relegation. He's bought Phillipe Senderos. That's trying to mend a hole in your roof by putting another hole next to it. They sort of somehow stay above the water but I'm mystified by how, If Benteke returns at his unplayable best, well they'll survive comfortably. But I think they'll struggle, especially while behind-the-scenes no one's giving Randy the eye. 

18. QPR

Of course this shouldn't happen, The R's still boast a pretty good squad on paper. But I'm getting the feeling Arry'll tire of 'em being so crap on the pitch. Rio looks a good buy in theory but the lad's getting comfy on the couch these days, and that back could do without comfy sofas. Somehow they'll blunder into the drop zone and stay there. 

19. BURNLEY

If fight and attitude and getting in their faces could win you footy matches, Burnley would already be safe, Dyche is a great motivator but pound for pound they've got the weakest squad and it'd be a triumph for them to get 40 points. I hope they do. But they wont. 

20. CRYSTAL PALACE

No Pulis, nil points. He was the manager of the year last year, and there is no better organiser of football teams in the country. The performance at the Emirates was hugely encouraging but as Palace have studiously avoided buying anyone of note, you can't see progress being made. A disastrous start to a quietly disappointing season. 

And that my friends is the future. Now if I've predicted good things for you boys get down to the boozer and knock back some serious downbeat single malts. If I've only foreseen trauma, crack open the champagne.

As for the Boro, I haven't got a bloody clue. At times we look fine then we lose at Leeds. Who the hell knows?

Best of luck to the lot of you. Except you and you. You know who you are. 

89 comments:

  1. Third on the comments, Everton 7th in the predos. I do think there will be a Europa effect, and Barkley's 8-week, then months-long injury won't help.

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  2. Fourth. Liverpool. Champions League. I'll take it.

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  3. No good luck for Bells and I, eh? Fair enough.

    My own predictions for this season, which are suspiciously like Robbo's, only wrong...

    1. Man City
    2. Chelsea
    3. Arsenal
    4. Liverpool
    5. Everton
    6. Tottenham
    7. Man Utd
    8. Stoke City
    9. Southampton
    10. Swansea City
    11. Sunderland
    12. Hull City
    13. Leicester City
    14. Aston Villa
    15. Newcastle
    16. West Ham
    17. QPR
    18. West Brom
    19. Crystal Palace
    20. Burnley

    Followed by my horrendous picks from last season, with actual finish in parentheses:

    1. Chelsea (3)
    2. Man City (1)
    3. Man Utd (7)
    4. Tottenham (6)
    5. Arsenal (4)
    6. Swansea (12)
    7. Sunderland (14)
    8. Liverpool (2)
    9. Everton (5)
    10. Norwich (18)
    11. Southampton (8)
    12. West Brom (17)
    13. Aston Villa (15)
    14. Newcastle (10)
    15. Fulham (19)
    16. Stoke (9)
    17. Crystal Palace (11)
    18. West Ham (13)
    19. Hull (16)
    20. Cardiff (20)

    One more prediction sure to be wrong for this season: Suarez bites not Ramos, but Pepe, and all hell well and truly breaks loose.

    Champagne it is then. Saving the single malt for when we celebrate the treble. I think the bubbles have gone to my brain...

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  4. good stuff Robbo, except the last bit about "you and you"!!

    Brendan Rogers' selling Suarez will certainly get him bitten on the arse.

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  5. Can't argue too much with them predo's Robbo. I'd hope that Utd serve up another season of mediocrity, but with no European distractions and an open cheque book, surely they'll just buy their way out of any trouble, whilst accusing Citeh and Chelsea of financial doping.

    I agree with Spurs in 6th. For some reason, I just don't expect Everton to hit the same heights this season. But there is a clear two-tier league developed now between top 7 and the rest. Newcastle or Saints most likely to jump the gap if possible.

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  6. Top 7 sort of writes itself,whereas 8th down is a bot of a lottery.

    In the REAL league I'm going for Derby and Wigan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're not in the real league jacks they're in the premiership would-be but too poor league

      Delete
  7. I think the top 4 will be the current top 4 Chelsea..Citeh....Arsenal...Liverpool
    In fact I think they will remain unmoved in those positions for the whole season

    As for the mid table melange, who cares, Portsmouth had the right idea ...the Icarus approach....and now in verse with a top the cap to England greatest living poet JCC, my predictions the drop

    I'll tell you now and I'll tell you firmly
    Favorites for the drop are Burnley.
    Another team is equally shitty
    Prem farewell to - hull city
    As I was saying to my friend Elsie Anchester
    Sorry Arry but QPR are fooked.

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  8. RIP James Alexander Gordon

    Life 0 Death 1

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    Replies
    1. East Fife 4 Forfar 5

      Spider

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  9. Great Blog as always, Robbo, Liked the comment on West Ham - 'encouraging sloths to go jogging'. Can't really argue with any of your picks - anything between 8th and 16th is a total lottery. Chelsea looked good - ok it was only Burnley but there were times last season when they looked ponderous going forward - Fabregas looks capable of providing that killer pass they need to unlock stubborn defences. Relegation wise QPR could escape if some other team does a Norwich. Can't see Burnley or a Puless Palace surviving but I hope Dyche keeps his job so they can bounce back the season after next, hopefully with a stronger squad.

    Spider

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  10. Steady if unspectacular start to the ffl season. Won both H2Hs without much ado, but will need to be really lucky to repeat it next week.

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    1. Shitty but not unexpected start to ffl. However, I have now sussed out how to change the formation of my team so beware .... mwwaaahhhaaahhhaaa

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  11. My "least points wins" team nearly outscored my actual team. My Football League side is in worse shape than Crystal Palace if taken over by Paolo di Canio.

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  12. tragic but predictable news from Bolton. Well done Boro!

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  13. I've become a bit of a fan of the American draft/salary cap system having watched the Chelsea-Burnley game. The gulf in class was so wide that there really is no point putting the teams together in the same league. Now the argument (and a reasonable one at that) is that these are privately owned clubs and owners have every right to pump in as much money as they want. However, purely from a perspective of fair competition, the match up was ridiculous. I watched the whole game and can barely name 4 burnley players. There top summer signing was 1.5 million for a tall striker no one has heard of. How can they be expected to compete with a team containing Hazard, Costa, Oscar, Schurle, Willian, Fabregas, Courtois?
    I know Burnley took the lead, but they could play Chelsea every week for a year without ever looking like winning. That doesnt really make for an enjoyable spectacle (unless you're Stephen or BHB, any other chelsea supporters on here?).

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    1. I'm against the cap (mostly) and draft (definitely).

      1) Draft means no more youth system AND no easy way to do promotion/relegation. How does anyone out of the top flight draft players? And where are you drafting from?
      2) Salary cap: In theory, I am in favor of some sort of cap. However, in the MLS, the cap only "works" because the league owns part of each team, keeps a huge chunk of the transfer money, severely restricts salaries (except those pesky Designated Players), and practically assigns who plays where. The competition would increase, but not nearly as quickly as the desire to watch the product would decrease.

      I'd be more in favor of a rule requiring that every player signed for a fee play at least a certain percentage of his team's minutes or be allowed to leave on a free after the season. Players who choose to not play are refused a salary that season (but still allowed to leave at the end). Injured players are assigned to one of two injury lists. Players on the short-term list have the minutes they miss counted against them but can return at any time. Players on the long-term injury list cannot return until the end of a predetermined period, but the minutes they miss do not count toward their percentage. Young players on the lists count their age group as competitive football, so if you sign an 18 year old, you can't say he's injured so he doesn't count against the full squad, then play him in the reserves or youth sides.

      Limit the number of loans out, too, even if 10 or 15, and no more than 4 years of going out on loan per player. Youngsters who come up through the system (no fee) are not required to play a percentage of minutes until the season they will turn 21. Or it could be prorated, so 18 year-olds had to play 10% of the minutes, 19y/o 20%, 20 y/o 30%, 21 y/o 40%, beyond that, you're not a youngster even if you came up through the system.

      Sure, there are ways to game the system and some players would elect not to leave (otherwise backup keepers make a run for it every season!)... maybe it could be based on appearances instead of minutes, which could still be cynically manipulated, but there must be something...

      Thoughts? Is this too crazy--or too sensible--to work?

      Delete
  14. The salary cap works very well in the rugby league over here - currently two teams tied for 1st place and 8 teams within 4 points (or two wins) behind. The remaining 6 teams are also fairly close. So to even the playing field, it works very well. The drawback is that the real superstars in the game leave to sports or leagues where there is more money (Sonny Bill Williams, Sam Burgess, Israel Folau etc.).

    Despite the closeness of the league, the administrators are trying to introduce a draft system too, to try to prevent the poaching of junior players by other clubs. But as only three or four clubs have strong player 'nurseries', they don't want to pay to develop these players only for them to be drafted by others. So the development of youth players would have to be funded and controlled by the central administration. Could we trust the FA to do that?! They can't do anything else properly.

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    Replies
    1. Obviously teams do break the salary cap from time to time, but with all clubs open to audit, it is eventually discovered and severe punishments, stripping of titles, etc. takes place.

      Delete
  15. Good blogs everyone.

    barca are more than a club. They're a chiselling bunch of fucking crooks. First the shenanigans over neymar. A bargain 40 million. If we overlook the other 40 millom of bungs. Then the child trafficking which led to the teenager ban. Now thanks to the irrefutably and irredeemably corrupt FIFA (may you rot in hell Blatter....) They swerve said transfer ban just long enough to stockpile two years worth of players. Mind you arsenal and Chelsea have benefited n' all with fabregas and Sanchez looking the part all ready.

    Why am I so angry about this? I'm not really. Its all a proxy for the stuff I'm really angry about. You know, the port vale stuff.

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    Replies
    1. ... and what about luis 'cannibal' suarez' so called 'football ban' but still he's allowed to train ... ridiculous

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  16. The draft system is s non starter here. The prem is the purest spectacle of modern global Nero-Liberal (thank you auto correct, for once) capitalism known to man.

    Which its off when the game itself is socialism in action supported by local communities of fans (except man utd - and isn't it great to see their travails continue fir art least another season)

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  17. Moody resigns from Palace over sub(human)text. Should we relegate Palace now and save us the agony of watching their PL place die a slow, painful death? And what it Tan had good cause for the misconduct allegations?

    http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/28880830

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  18. Hello all.

    Was at the Emirates for the opening game of the season, good result from a not so great performance, but I'll take it. A bit worried that Robbo has us with a top 4 finish.....

    DOOMED I TELLS YA. ;)

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    Replies
    1. It was a nice trip, the stadium tour you mentioned was 18 quid a pop, which i thought was a bit pricey and unnecccasary as I'd paid the best part of 60 quid the day before to be in the stadium for the game.

      To say the demographics of the area has changed a bit since I lived there would be the understatement of the century, there must be an enormous poultry farm tucked away somewhere behind the Sevensisters Road, because I've never seen so many fried chicken joints in such close proximity in my life, there must of been at least 20 in a 50 yard radius, i shit you not.

      Delete
  19. Wait,what? Suarez was too much to handle so we've replaced him with balotelli? WTF? Rodgers must like pain.

    Well, at least there will be no dearth of entertainment.

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    Replies
    1. Is in talks with, hasn't signed........

      yet.

      Delete
    2. AH, put it this way - Everton got Lukaku for £28 million. (I'd type this in caps if it weren't rude): You got Mario freakin' Balotelli for £16 million!! Granted, the wage packet is going to be a little bit different, but would you like to trade? An even up swap?

      Delete
    3. Never mind Lukaku, how about Mario for Coleman?

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    4. Balotelli is as mad as a box of frogs on crank. AC Milan couldn't wait to get shot of him.

      Not too many suitors for his signature even though his agent has been pimping him out big time.

      Christian Vieri tweeted that moving him on was "the best transfer move in Milan's history"

      If Benton can keep him focused it's a major coup, that's one hell of an IF though.

      Delete
  20. As for the FFL, in the Robbo HtoH, I managed to lose with 63 points to the only person in the league who scored more points then that. Ha ha.

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  21. Which reminds me, if you are ever in Singapore, as I was recently, and you get the urge to have a beer in the Raffles Hotel, as I did, make sure you have a wallet full of cash. A pint of Tiger beer... $Sing23.(11 plus pounds.) I could get drunk for a week in Manila for that and still have change for a hooker on Saturday night.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you were in Raffles, you should at least have had a Singapore Sling. Next time, try the Archipeligo Craft Brewery, 79 Circular Road Singapore. (Google Real Ale in Singapore and take it from there - if it doesn't float your boat there might be something else that will). Beware - drinking in Singapore is expensive wherever you go.

      Spider

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    2. Picadily Hotel in London, 1981. 33 years ago....16 quid for a bottle of Pils, I shit you not.

      Delete
    3. At least you have options. I live in a small town in Utah... college town, but a dry campus. Only a few restaurants serve beer, there's only one bar, and nowhere serves anything but a couple low-alcohol local beers and low-alcohol versions of horse piss major brands. Nearly an hour to the nearest real bar, which still doesn't have anything interesting. 90+ minutes to a city big enough for options.

      For Bells, only a couple places in town serve wine, and it is worse than the beer.

      Of course, it won't matter, because you can't order alcohol without food and they aren't allowed to serve you alcohol without serving you water first.

      Delete
    4. What is this...wa...ter, of which you speak?

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    5. Dunno. They bring something in a glass, then they bring beer.

      Delete
  22. Balla telli another great signing in a scouse accent.

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  23. Calm down! Calm down! Pay £16 mill for a striker? De do do don't de do? he never done nuttin werse than blowing himself up with fireworks whilst handing out fivers.

    If he play barca and Suarez tho better not wear that chicken hat mind, mistakes can happen if luis gets peckish and sounds like if he wears it near the Emirates hell be £18 million with of chicken nuggets in the morning

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  24. And now im off to wish our Scottish friends goodbye at the Edinburgh festival....i thought they were out friend anyway...mcbastards

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  25. Breaking News: In response to Liverpool signing Mario Balotelli, Chelsea sign Mario Batali, immediately placing him ahead of Fernando Torres.

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  26. The LMA is quickly becoming the LMAO.

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    Replies
    1. wtf? imho, the (this post censored for racist, sexist, homophobic banter)

      Delete
  27. OK kids.

    Holiday time for me, I'm off to Mexico.

    C ya in a couple of weeks.

    Adios.

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    Replies
    1. Have a great time H, hopefully the gooners will still be in the top 4 when you get back.

      Spider

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    2. Happy holidays H2
      How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?
      Just the Juan

      Delete
  28. For Fuchs ache.Is nothing sacred?

    The P*t S**p B***s are making a cameo appearance in The Archers.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-28898960

    Unless there's to be a murder in Ambridge...

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    Replies
    1. If it's the PSBs, hopefully a double murder!

      Spider

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  29. Hacienda nacho's H2.

    I can only assume there are no strikers available in the transfer market, that or Wenger still believes we can win the PL without a quality striker.

    With Balotelli, Liverpool either have a bargain or another fucking headache.
    I read somewhere that they have threatened Balotelli with 2 million pounds fines if he misbehaves. I'm not sure, however, what constitutes misbehaviour with Liverpool. If Liverpool's response to what Suarez got up to is anything to go by, Balotelli's pocket money is safe during his time with the scousers.

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  30. Hmmm... NatWest t20 Blast semifinal replays were great for putting me to sleep on a rainy Saturday, but what's with the costumes? I've seen them at football matches near the end of the season, too. What started that "tradition"?

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    Replies
    1. The costumes are all about alleviating the mind numbing tedium which even those whose personalities have been surgically removed during their public school education endure as a consequence of feeling obligated to be seen attending their chosen class-marker sport.

      Delete
    2. Makes sense. So what do you dress as?

      Delete
  31. Mark Lawrenson on Balotelli signing for Liverpool: 'What's the worst that could happen?'

    Well I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.

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  32. 16:46: Sunderland 1-1 Man Utd
    Manchester United's back three is now: Phil Jones, Michael Keane and Tyler Blackett.
    ============================
    How is this happening? Even if they go on to win this game, this is a team that has already spent 75 million.

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  33. Spurs fans must be on cloud 9 right now. I know its early on in the season, but Soldado, Lamela, Chadli all looking the part. If this week is anything to go by,I guess it was the manager that was the problem, and not the team Levy bought.

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    Replies
    1. Lamela was the first player in my FFL team this season. He's going to be massive for us this year, if he can avoid injury.

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    2. Spurs were good on Sunday, but QPR made them look that way. We'll know more after the next game (home to Liverpool, in case you didn't know, AH)..


      Jedi

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  34. Cameroonian striker dies after being hit in the head by an object thrown from the crowd.

    Wow.

    http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/28918021

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  35. Does the current FFL season not allow making changes during a gameweek anymore, or is it just me? Trying to make a change to before Eric Dier's price goes up owing to his goal today, but not being allowed to do so.

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    Replies
    1. you have to wait until after the game tomorrow when results are official (and his value has increased)

      Delete
    2. I'm allowed to make changes during the game week, but prices are changing all the time. I've already transferred out Sanchez after his efforts on Saturday and downgraded to Ramsey.

      Last season I could change during the game week, but prices didn't go up until after, so you could save a bit of money on transfers. Seems they've stopped that loophole with the 'real time' price rises. The cunts.

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    3. this is preposterous. I'll familiarise myself with the rules next year

      Delete
  36. good point for Man U, they might be safe again this season.

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    1. I think they'll surprise a few people this year, trot. I think van gaal will work a minor miracle there, so I tip them for s top ten finish.

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    2. While I'd enjoy that, I think by now Van Gaal would've realized what a shit squad he has and will buy everyone available before the window closes. Also once the top 7 start their European travels, he'll be the only one with a fresh squad every week.

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    3. that's a bold prediction Blog, I'll watch closely, at the end of the day it'll all depend on how they do against the newly promoted teams.

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    4. I'm hedging my bets. If they sign new, capable defenders, they might finish in the top half. If they don't, they might not. But either way, they might. Or they might not. But they will finish somewhere, that's for sure. Unless they don't, and then it isn't.

      AH, I'd rather have the second XI from Man City or Chelsea than fresh Man Ure.

      Delete
    5. It's the Curse of Moyes, I tells ya - there's only way to lift it: someone has to go to Preston with Yakubu and Andy Johnson and have them run sprints on the Deepdale Stadium pitch at midnight whilst wearing Fellaini wigs.

      Or perhaps, as Stevie Nicks advises, I should keep my visions to myself...

      Delete
    6. ... and now they are out of league cup! 4-0 thrasing by MK Dons ...

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    7. United'll have offers in for half the MK Dons team tomorrow.

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    8. All part of van Gaal's master plan to not have to worry about any competitions. No Champions League, mercifully no Europa League, nobody cares about the League Cup, might as well drop the FA Cup... is there a way to literally drop out of the Premier League? Better go for that next...

      Delete
    9. No competition means we ALL can win! Yay! Or, if we're pessimists, we're all a bunch of unattractive losers.

      When your club's own Twitter feed admits in the waning minutes that Sunderland are looking more likely to find a winning goal, you've got problems.

      Delete
    10. Oh, and the picture of Ryan Giggs staring in horror at Van Gaaaaal on the Beeb? Hysterical.

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    11. Probably too bold, trots. On second thoughts I agree with you and now predict they will be battling for survival. if they are relegated, I confidently predict they will bounce back to the prem within three years

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    12. Nah, when they go, they'll pull a Portsmouth. So many expensive contracts, no way they have relegation clauses to reduce the burden. Everyone will want to leave and they'll sell for anything they can get, the very opposite of what they're being milked for now. They'll be left with their u9 side, testing a whole new meaning of "you can't win anything with kids."

      Or did I dream it?

      Delete
    13. the developers are drawing up plans for a condominium complex incorporating a fish market, florists, football museum and wine bar at Old Trafford now.

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  37. Watched back Citeh and The 'Pool (hey, sounds like a crap US cop show or movie from the 70's!). City looked like Ah-nold circa the original Terminator - relentless, controlled. There were 62,314 passes leading to their second goal. I counted.

    And when you can just have Sergio Aguero pop on and put the game on ice? That ain't fair, either.

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  38. The Gerpard conundrum has been resolved in the best possible way. Both have retired.

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  39. I see Colin has been appointed manager of Crystal Palace. One player who will not be happy to hear this is Jason Puncheon, who once said of Warnock:

    "I won't accept an opinion from a man who's crooked and ruining the game ... A man who gives players extra wages so that they can then pay him to put them in the team. The fact he could even talk about training is shocking: he was never there!". (Source: Betfair)

    Transfer for Mr Puncheon, I think.


    Jedi

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  40. Another new blog up, H. Robbo's prolific!

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