Robbo 10: W**kin Frankel - Click On My Face To Listen!

Monday, 24 February 2014

Bren Rodgers in the 21st Century

After a week of European football that saw the two English candidates suffer 2-0 home defeats the weekend's action seemed a little more pedestrian. And predictable. Of course the main reason Citeh and Arsenal lost in midweek were the two red cards, both of which were mourned by the respective managers.


Wenger thought that the ref should have changed the rules for Szcezsny. Pellegrini thought the ref should change his nationality, what with Sweden being a two-bit backwoods nation (unlike Chile).


As Man City's dizzying heights recede into the past (the 1-0 v Stoke being further evidence of fantasy football fatigue) Liverpool seem bent on serving up goal-fests every time they take to the park. Rogers' team play like a frantic ship's crew in a holed boat, relying on the bailing out ability of their main men, while the other dolts plod recklessly about in the hull, putting their feet through more rotting planks and threatening to capsize the whole vessel.


It's 24 years since Liverpool won the title so these are bound to be heady days at Anfield. So what's the secret of Brendan's success - always allowing for the fact that he's won eff-all so far.


A month ago you would have said Luis Suarez. He's still their outstanding player, of course. There are times when the Uruguayan is so inventive and nimble that you wonder why he gave up the day job at the circus. It's entirely believable that Luis goes to and from training on a unicycle, all the while doing seamless keepy-uppies with three footballs and a couple of Granny Smiths, those fine front choppers chomping away on the apples as he goes.


Yes he still flops to the floor like a set of tumbling dominos when the mood takes him, and although he hasn't been scoring with the frequency of an Operation Yewtree trial, he is still serving up more chances on a plate than a Yo-Sushi! conveyor belt.


Leading the feeding frenzy is one Daniel Sturridge, a lad capable of looking both sorry and sublime within the same minute. Despite his strike rate, his finishes are never nailed-on. He is, nevertheless, the best English centre-forward currently playing. Yes, better even than Andy Carroll, Jermain Defoe and Grant Holt (irony alert).


Sturridge has his faults - well one mainly - he's a greedy bastard. Still you'd rather that than the timid roll it across the six-yard box merchants. And it's easy to forget that here's one lad who - and it's his own fault - spent a few seasons decorating benches in Manchester and West London rather than developing his career.


If it were down to me I'd ban any youth international from the books of Citeh and Chelsea in order to ensure they get to kick a football in earnest once in a while. (Anyone remember Jack Rodwell? From what I hear Jack Rodwell doesn't even remember Jack Rodwell).


Rogers' greatest triumph as a coach however comes in the form of Jordan Henderson who has this season started to look okay as a footballer. Gerrard's withdrawal to in front of the back four has given Jordan a bit more space to operate and while for a while he looked like a agoraphobic meerkat, he seems to have settled into the role now. He's playing well.


As is Raheem Sterling, another off the production of twinkle-toed wastrels that this country specializes in right now: Young, Adam Johnson, Walcott, Lennon, Townsend - truly, Hodgson is spoilt for choice and yet only Townsend has really threatened in an England shirt. Sterling stands out because he seems to have coupled pace with an ability to pick a pass in recent weeks.


Elsewhere, Coutinho is clearly class, and the lad Flanagan looks very good going forward.


The troubles are at the back, where Skrtel in particular continues to turn in performances that make you long for his name to become a verb. In the film 'Skrtel' he would be played by a madcap Jim Carrey, who would delight us by Skrtelling into opposition forwards and Skrtelling crosses into his own net.


When the defence is spared a Skrtelling it gets 'Kolo-ed'. A Kolo is scored when a defender's error is so calamitous it might as well be an own goal. (see Santiago Vergini's Kolo at the Emirates this weekend).


Of course, not doing much last season has probably helped Liverpool in this one. They don't have to beetle off to the arse-end of nowhere of a Thursday night this season. Like Spurs, who always come back from the Europa League like they've been on a flaming booze cruise.


Indeed there is something a bit Keeganesque about Liverpool's harem-scarem approach to winning footy matches this year and it's a delight to behold. And in such contrast to the niggardly attitude of Mourinho's league leaders who are turning this season into an exercise in grinding pragmatism.


Jose, while not denigrating Arsene Wenger for his failures, has been returning to form with a charmless Chelsea team that, once Hazard is shackled, looks unlikely to cause alarm to anyone. They are still horribly short of a proper goalscorer and yet, and yet, and yet... they might just teeter over the line in first even with a front one or two with the cutting edge of an air-bed.


In a season of such attacking flamboyance for their three nearest rivals this would be a major disappointment for all of us who love life. Still, the Happy One beams his snidey smile, and the likes of Martinez can bleat away in the trophyless wastelands of not-near-enough and never-weres and he will shrug and say 'what have they won?'


The more the Blue Meanies sneak scruffy late victories the more you want someone - anyone else - to win the bleeding thing.




140 comments:

  1. Good stuff Robbo. It's all true. There's more excitement in a Liverpool match these days than the other 9 combined.

    Good news…..Piers Morgan's CNN show is to be canned!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I'd rather eat Pedigree Chum...but still, no-one ever tried dogshit in a can before.
      Rastafairy

      Delete
    2. would boiled in oil be better?

      Delete
  2. Aren't the Twinkle-Toed Wastrels composing the official theme tune of Euro 2016?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Brenda Rogers must not be allowed to win the league. Arsenal or Chelsea are tolerable, City I'll live with but Liverpool as the first Post-Fergie Champions NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    They must not get back on their perch

    A good win on Saturday for Moyes but we must win our next 2 or we've no chance of finishing 5th never mind 4th

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's hope for you yet Adam...

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/economics/10654182/Could-merging-Liverpool-and-Manchester-boost-UK-growth.html

      Delete
    2. Bichrist, Bloggy, that's brought me out of my slumber. Does that also mean Stockport would have to merge with Birkenhead?

      Delete
  4. I'd be delighted to see Liverpool win the league.

    The reason being put so eloquently in the post above by Adam.

    SAVE DAVE.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I consulted with my, erm, equipment, and it hasn't been using my computer. Plus, if it could speak, I wouldn't imagine it saying, "Yoh!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hope Chelsea don't win the league, Mourinho's type of football is way to dull' Its bad for the game. his selling Mata gives an insight into his football philosophy, get rid of the flair players. He gets results but at the cost of boring us neutrals half to death.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Today's lesson was on the importance of capital letters and punctuation....

    Mary, could you help your Uncle Jack off his horse?

    Mary, could you help your uncle jack-off his horse?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Add intonation. The first one could mean that Jack either wants to stop riding or has a more murderous intent.

      Delete
    2. *And intonation.

      So spell-checking, too.

      Delete
    3. No, Stephen. I think they would have used 'euthanize' instead of 'off'. Although, the French and Canadians might have used 'slaughter' or 'butcher'.

      Delete
    4. Ah, I see. I guess I was thinking more of 'murder' or 'take care of'.

      Delete
    5. hmmm or 'whack' ? Which could mean render it dead or make it go faster. Complicated.

      Delete
  8. I have to agree with Robbo - Liverpool are just entertaining to watch. From the danger at the front to the comedy at the back. As Everton slide into their inevitable 6th-8th finish (Now, what were we supposed to do in the final third again? Hopefully, Lukaku will show us when he gets back!), it's just nice to see some decent finishing. Watching the Peanut waffling in the corner of the area as though sorting out his feelings at being there was frustrating, to say the least.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh fuck, a liverpool blog. Its all downhill from here I guess, was nice while it lasted.

    Seeing as Rogers replaced Agger with Kolo for the last quarter of the Swansea game, it looks like the world will be entertained with some flamboyant Skrtling and Kolo-ing away at Saints this weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Also Adam you'd rather end up in 6th than 5th. You really dont want to be playing in the Europa League. The EL is the biggest reason we're above Spurs right now (here's hoping they go all the way to the finals).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Man U are so sure of winning the Champs league they don't care where they finish in the prem.

      Delete
    2. Thereby consigning liverpool, who finish 4th, to the Europa League. Wouldn't that be a dream/nightmare!

      Delete
  11. they have Flanagan & Allen, even a bloke called Wisdom, I'm thinking there'll be a Formby and a Dodd playing for 'em soon enough.

    ReplyDelete
  12. As a neutral to the dizzying heights of the premier league, i must say that this is the first season i dont irrationally dislike Liverpool. I mean i dont like them, but i dont hate them either... so thats something. I still think City will win the league and Liverpool will be fourth... but this season is barmy so who cocking knows.

    I don't.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh and i'll be writing this everyday - this is the first one... get involved. You know how people always brag about how they saw the first episode of BBC 3's PramFace,,, that can be you but about this.

    http://tenfactsabout.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's brilliant but yu hav t typ in yur dbit card numbr t pst a cmmnt.

      Delete
    2. If you can just provide me your: Date of Birth, Address, National Insurance Number and mothers maiden name... i will get that sorted for you.

      Delete
    3. Ida Shufflecock didn't give birth to an idiot you know, even back on April 1st 1919 and as an unmarried Mother she was no dummy.

      Delete
  14. Nice one RR.


    I almost always have footy on in the background here in the bar, ofcourse I watch all Arsenal games (record them too), but if they arenot on and there is a choice then I choose to watch Liverpool, by far the most entertaining squad in the PL. Sometimes their attacking play is breathtaking. Nice, intricute, well placed passes and quick movement, remicent of previous Arsenal teams, the only problem is that their defending looks like previous reincarnations of all our former bad bits too. Still, great to watch, end to end stuff, well done Brentan for bringing us the real deal.

    The team I try to avoid is Chelsea, yes I now that Jose is a great manager and has won lots of stuff, but bloody hell it's dire to watch. Bourinihio has squezed the life out of a squad that should really be ripping teams to shreads with flowing attacking football, but they are not. Before I get slated, yes I know that defending is just as big a part of football as attacking and yes his methods work, I get it, it doesn't mean I have to like it.

    As for the manager himself, I'm glad to see that most are starting to twig on to what's really like, ofcourse there are still sections of the meedja that have their heads firmly planted deep in his anus, but his bile is not licked up and loved as much as it was first time around. I understand why he plays some of his mind games, and he is a master at munipulating the hard of thinking in the press, I actually applaude his deflection skills. But he doesn't seem to know where the line is, or worse, he does and he just couldn't give a shit about pissing all over it. A great tactician and winner he very well may be......

    But he shows a complete lack of class doing it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Good blogging Robbo. Still think it'll be City for the title, once Aguero is back fit again.

    From previous blog:
    AH: Well, Noel, if Sherwood keeps playing Bentaleb while keeping Eriksen on the bench, I really have nothing to worry about.

    And that is the problem AH. One of AVB's tasks was to integrate the youth players into the first team squad. He preferred to buy players instead, but still bought Danny Rose through. Sherwood I think is trying to prove there is talent there and AVB was just bad at his job, so he continues to pick Bentelab. His initial argument was about there being no need for defensive midfielders. Yet, once Capoue was fit again (he's now unfit, again), he was straight back in the team, but at Eriksen's expense. He continues to play Bentelab to justify his youth team management, in the same way as AVB continued to play Soldado to justify his 26m price tag. We're crying out for creativity, which only Eriksen provides at the moment. When Capoue went off injured on the weekend, he bought on Chadli. A terrible player. He then replaced Paulinho, a player who brings energy, drive, and the occasional goal. I think I'm right in saying that Bentelab has played every minute of Sherwood's reign. Just for Tim to try to prove a point, which he's not.

    ReplyDelete
  16. From previous blog... You know you want in...

    MLS Fantasy Football/Soccer
    http://fantasy.mlssoccer.com

    Private Classic: 8935-1592
    Private H2H: 8935-1593

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll call my team Becks' 2D Future.

      They always come out flat. Great width but no depth.

      Delete
    2. if you're the only one in the league Stephen, you might just do the double!

      Delete
    3. AH is in. I'm hoping for continental qualification.

      And you'll be in soon, yes?

      Delete
  17. I agree with Noel, Citeh to take title ... still hoping we can fall over the line but with our squad getting thinner each passing week, our best chance of silverware this year seems to be the facup.

    H2, I wouldn't mind a few of those Arsenal recordings

    ReplyDelete
  18. "Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney says the one Champions League winners' medal he has is not "enough"."

    He's 28 and just signed a 5 year contract at Un**ed. What team with a chance of winning the CL is going to want a 33 year old never quite made it in 1919?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Bo.

    Are you an Arsenal member?

    If not you can get a digital membrership for free which gives you free access to Arsenalplayer where you can see highlights the day after the game ofr the entire game a few days later, plus interviews and a lot of other guff.

    Check it out @;


    http://www.arsenal.com/membership

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks, H. my kids are gooners the treacherous little gits, so theyll appreciate that

      Delete
    2. Just glad I can do my bit to keep the kids on the right path. ;)

      Delete
    3. or there's this....

      www.bwfc.com/membership/miserylovescompany

      Delete
  20. Question for debate, gents (and ladies, of course).

    Is Andy Townsend a complete idiot, or are there bits missing?



    Jedi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Both.hes the nearest thing punditry has to a speak your weight machine. he does the voice over on FIFA14 and i honestly think he's better on the computer version than in real life

      Delete
    2. From canned Piers Morgan to a mass debate over Andy Townsend. It's a funny old game, eh?
      Rastafairy

      Delete
    3. just for the record, I'm not massdebating over Andy Townsend.

      Delete
  21. Hodgson to bring in penalty psychologist for Euros.

    http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/26332893

    Doesn't matter if he's a psychologist or just plain psycho. If he can take penalties, put him on the plane.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Manchester United are a genuinely terrible football team. Granted its only half time and i could look silly in 45 minutes... i hope i do... but im doubting it.


    oh and i'll be writing this everyday, bit of fun...

    http://tenfactsabout.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  23. Man Utd are playing like Hartlepool Town hypnotised to believe they're man utd

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blogs, I think you're being very hard on Hartlepool. I thought I saw something about a team called Tunstall FC (I think) wh'd won their first game for about 3 seasons - Manpoo might beat them but on the form they showed last night they couldn't beat an egg.

      Spider

      Delete
  24. Although Keane is clearly a psychopath, he's a brilliant pundit and shaping up to be fergusons' nemesis.....i think Moyes will be shocked at the lack of quality he's had to work with'

    Fergie you're going to regret that snidey autobiography before Roy is through with you.

    ReplyDelete
  25. An insult to Hartlepool Blog. Un**ed were woeful. Ferdinand was so bad it seemed Olympiakos had an extra man on the pitch, Smalling wasn't much better either.

    A young gunner adds to Un**ed's misery! Joel Campbell scored the second with a great goal, curling it around a stationary Ferdinand.

    An enjoyable morning for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's something missing Bo. That fucking wet lettuce interview with Carrick typified the spinelessness of it all. That's the Moyes Effect. Most of these players aren't top quality, but they're not THAT bad. Moyes tactics are transparent and predictable and he seems to have ask the motivational charisma of David Brent. To think they could have employed mourinho ....like jumping in bed with Susan Boyle as Jessica Alba sashays in wearing cellphane pyjamas

      Delete
    2. By comparing her to Jose you have just ruined Jessica Alba for me, thanx!!

      Delete
    3. Just think windowlicker but with the heads of premiership managers

      Delete
    4. Your "wet lettuce' analogy was most apt blog. I googled the term and found a couple of definitions,

      wet lettuce. Phrase commonly used in the North of England to describe a person who acts like a fanny or in a manner betraying his male gender.

      "right wet lettuce" comes from the North of England and is used to denounce someone as being not very brave or having no courage.

      My favourite is this one

      shake the lettuce:
      drunken girl at pub says to friend 'I've got to go and shake the lettuce before I explode' and proceeds to go to the toilet.

      ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

      Who is the guy interviewing keane and dixon, have they resurrected benny hill?

      Delete
    5. Adrian CHiles Bo - legend. miserable sod but excellent anchor man

      Delete
  26. "Manchester United striker Robin van Persie, 30, says the Champions League is so wide open this year that 10 of the remaining 16 teams have a chance of lifting the trophy."

    I wonder if Olympiakos was one of Robin's 10?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Nice strike by Joel Campbell.....

    At least one Arsenal player got to score against United this year.
    ===========

    You're welcome Bo. Enjoy.

    ReplyDelete
  28. fuckin woeful United. No movement to the ball or off the ball, not playing like a team, zero confidence, Rio should never play for them again, Smalling is still on his arse, refreshingly though, Moyes accepts the blame!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Imagine if Olympiakos' best player and top scorer hadn't moved to Muelensteen's Fulham. Man U still in with a chance though, a 2 goal deficit not impossible to overturn at home.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Well another few bruises for me from chair-falling last night- have been lurking for a few days and now I am lurking and smirking. Admittedly this may be wiped off my face pretty sharpish tonight but still will not take away from the huge satisfaction I have seeing Man Poo lose

    SAVE DAVE

    ReplyDelete
  31. http://tenfactsabout.blogspot.co.uk/

    new one is up...

    squueze it before kickoff... jazzed up the site as well, glorious it isn't.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Looking good bro, SNH5. Kercheeeew

    ReplyDelete
  33. Galatasaray must be crap, Torres has just scored!

    Spider

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BHB must definitely be twerking now.

      Delete
    2. I don't know about twerking or jerking but I do know Mr BHB wasnt ferkin' happy with the way we played last night (his words not mine)

      Delete
    3. H2 - I presume you were referring to jerking as in the marinade and nothing remotely rude or immature :)

      Delete
  34. Robin van Persie questioned the way Manchester United are being set up as a team ... “And unfortunately, they are often playing in my zones."
    ==================================
    I wonder why they were in 'his' zones ? Were they trying to score goals too? Dolts, weren't they told no one but his nibs is allowed in the goal scoring zones?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is RVP speak for "I want to go to a club that will play in the Champions League next season, come and get me PLEASE!!!!" As he's already ratted on the Gooners, it would be par for the course for him to repeat the trick on Manpoo. A return to Arsenal? Would they have him? Would they want him? Would anyone want him as he is swiftly becoming a shadow of his former self?

      Spider

      Delete
    2. Yes we want him and need him.

      Delete
  35. Blackpool (doesn't) bid Adu
    http://soccer.si.com/2014/02/26/freddy-adu-blackpool-no-contract/

    But maybe they should take a look at this kid instead...
    http://extramustard.si.com/2014/02/26/high-school-soccer-player-scores-67-yard-goal-2-seconds-into-a-game/

    ReplyDelete
  36. Not a member of the SAVE DAVE campain;


    http://metro.co.uk/2014/02/26/manchester-united-fan-demands-david-moyes-sacking-by-getting-moyes-out-tattoo-4323851/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It wasn't this man was it?

      https://twitter.com/FootballFunnys/status/438458034097233920/photo/1

      Delete
  37. Interesting FFL gameweek coming up, with reduced number of games. Unless I take major penalty points, I'll have 6 players available.Hopefully come up against teams with equal numbers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you're playing me, I need a bit o'luck to avoid relegation.

      Delete
  38. Anelka gets Quintet for Quenelle

    http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/26326484

    ReplyDelete
  39. Here's hoping Spurs get a goal or two in the second half and make it past Dnipro. COYS.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Dickheads.
    -------------------------
    GOAL - Tottenham 0-1 Dnipro (agg 0-2) -Roman Zozulya
    Tottenham need to score three to get through. Anything less and they are out.
    -------------------------------------

    ReplyDelete
  41. this spurs match is crazy... great for the neutral - come on you coys.

    and new one of these - 10 facts about.. pope francis.

    http://tenfactsabout.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/pope-francis.html

    ReplyDelete
  42. well done Spurs, finally we have a winner!

    ReplyDelete
  43. You are having trouble believing the ten facts about the pope Trott? I think they are extremely plausible.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. no, only pt.9 lacks credibility to me.

      Delete
    2. What part of pt. 9 are you having trouble with mate, the direct line or the fact that the catholic church is too poor to pay for a phone call. It must be the direct line because everyone knows the catholic church is down to the bones of it's arse.

      Delete
    3. I don't think the big man has a phone.

      Delete
    4. Even if he did, 4G coverage is pretty shit unless you're in a city.

      Delete
  44. Nearly that time on a Friday , weekend wine time

    Have a good one :)

    ReplyDelete
  45. Overheard during England v West Indies today, after Michael Lumb took one between his legs on the fifth delivery of the ninth over.

    First Commentator: "Well, there's one ball left.
    Second Commentator: (after a pause) "I'm sure his loved ones will be comforted by that."

    ReplyDelete
  46. Calling all Fritters.

    Have you seen the boulting brothers 60s comedy the family way? Brilliant film, scored by Paul macartney when he was still a Beatle and filmed in...Bolton.

    If not here's a taste...with Hayley mills looking like Aphrodite....youtube.com/watch?v=KeRiKU7QvOU

    ReplyDelete
  47. Fritters? Jeez. I typed trotters....that's for you of course, trots...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and that on a day that we sign Alan Hutton on loan from Villa, the gifts just keep on coming. Overwhelming.

      Delete
    2. Don't fritter them away now.

      Delete
  48. Season starts March 8th. Plan ahead for your league-less fantasy summer by compiling a team mixing future useful PL/Champ/low-level CL/EL players with European has-beens. Consider it a scouting assignment or a way to feed your addiction.

    MLS Fantasy Football/Soccer
    http://fantasy.mlssoccer.com

    Private Classic: 8935-1592
    Private H2H: 8935-1593

    ReplyDelete
  49. Stephen (above)

    I read that piece on the BBC about Anelka's ban amd was slightly confused.
    It read;

    The commission statement said: "So far as the basis for our finding on charge 2 is concerned, we did not find that Nicolas Anelka is an anti-Semite or that he intended to express or promote anti-Semitism by his use of the quenelle."

    So to sum up, Anelka gets charged for making an anti semitic gesture even though they believe, as he has stated from the start, that this was not his intention. !?!

    Basically he's being fined and suspended for pointing at his arm.?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's fined and suspended (and undergoing education courses) because he's an idiot who doesn't think about his actions. You're on international television; there are consequences for your actions, even if you're too thick to realize what your actions mean.

      Delete
  50. http://www.offthepost.info/blog/2014/02/spoof-man-utd-striker-robin-van-persies-post-olympiacos-interview-gets-reworked/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's not a spoof, it;'s almost exactly what he said.

      NO ROBIN, NO.

      SAVE DAVE!!!

      Delete
    2. Yeah, I think it's best for all involved if Dave stays, and RVP goes. Maybe to the Newcastle Jets now that they've discovered that Emile Heskey isn't a goalscorer of any repute.

      Delete
  51. Maureen complaining that Chelsea have to play two games in three days. I seem to remember AVB making exactly the same point and getting ripped apart by the media for it. Not a ripple this time round though. Who'd a thunk it?

    ReplyDelete
  52. Sign me up. Can't be bothered To do it myself. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2570211/Petition-ban-Tom-Cleverley-England-squad-clocks-3-000-signatures-day.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, can't even be arsed complaining about Woy's squads anymore. Same old shite, different match. I notice he's picked 6 full backs and 2 centre backs for the game (Smalling I guess covers both, but he's as shite as Cleverley). I've long since given up on the England football team. What's the point when it's run so badly?

      Delete

  53. A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.
    Can
    you describe the symptoms to me? asked the doctor.
    Yes. Homer is a
    big fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue
    hair.

    ReplyDelete
  54. God told man you will find a good woman in every corner of the world.

    Then he made the world round and laughed his arse off.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Wenger has two incentives to gee the side up for a win this evening. We need every point we can get from here on in, and more importantly the embarrassment of being beaten by a team managed by Mark Hughes.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Pardew gets ahead of himself...

    http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/26402044

    ReplyDelete
  57. ...the MLS fantasy league is going to be a real barn-burner. 33 straight match-ups of A-HA v Becks 2D Future.

    C'mon......... you know you want in.... Great chance at continental qualification at this point.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's awesome. At least there'll be a winner!

      Delete
    2. I'm sure we'd find a way to draw, dead level on all tiebreakers.

      Delete
  58. I dreamt last night that Arsenal lost to Stoke and we beat Southampton away 3-0. If only dreams came true.

    ReplyDelete
  59. That Pardew eh, worra nutter!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess "use your head" means something different across the pond. (Here it applies to politicians and their other head.)

      Delete
    2. interesting innit. How 3 similar expressions can mean totally different things…
      Give him head
      Give him the head
      Give him his head

      Delete
  60. FIFA says you can now cover your head (http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/26398297) but not send a message (http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/26385653).

    In other news, Balotelli is already planning to pay stewards to wear messages under their vests to be displayed after he scores, instead. Failing that, he plans to start a kit company, name it FUFIFA, and buy the rights to the undershirts for whatever team he happens to play for by that time so he can legally share his message with the world.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Wasn't Pellegrini complaining that refs from small countries didn't know how to handle pressure? Perhaps some do.

    Move the US v Ukraine match to the safe setting of Cyprus and see what happens...

    http://soccer.si.com/2014/02/28/referee-cyprus-leontios-trattou-usmnt-ukraine/

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  62. For what it's worth, if anyone is remotely interested, I was thinking about Arsenal's poor run in recent times and I came to the conclusion (pretty simplistically put and no revelation) that if an opposing team is prepared to work hard to close us down, not give us time on the ball, our game falls apart slightly...to paraphrase Corporal Jones we don't like it up us.

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    1. I honestly think that Wenger missed a trick in January with this Draxler transfer. The effect that Ozil had on the squad at the start of the season was dramatic. By making a similar signing in January with Draxler, it would have given the boost to the squad which was already looking like it was running out of fuel (not to mention, take some of the burden off the players). Instead he made a fairly ordinary signing, who was promptly injured and is yet to feature.

      But I don't think many Arsenal fans would have expected to win the league this season anyway. And Spurs ain't going to catch up to 4th place, so at least you're more or less guaranteed a top 4 finish again.

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    2. Arsenal bid for Draxler, but Schalke wanted more, more then Ozil was brought in for if reports are to be believed, way too much for him anyway.

      He looks a good prospect, but is still prety raw. He was terrible against Real last week.

      I never even expected we'd challenge this year, let alone be leading the league for so long. However, this seasn I believe nothing is guarenteed, I will go as far as saying that i would be highly surprised if Cardiff avoided the drop/

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  63. Congratulations to the very English Citeh squad on their Credit Card Cup win. All of Chile, Spain, and bits of some other countries will no doubt be proud tonight!

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    1. I have a mental picture a Capital One commercial with the lads in light blue repeating, in chorus, the famous tag line - "Who's in YOUR wallet?" in an aural rainbow of accents.

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  64. Liverpool owner John Henry has admitted striker Luis Suarez had a £40m buy-out clause in his previous contract but that the club refused to sell anyway.
    ================================================
    Wow. That's a big admission right there. Looks like it turned out well for Liverpool FC in the end (so far), but surely he has placed the club in a legally precarious position.

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    1. I saw that,AH. I didn't know what it meant though. Could arsenal out Suarez have taken Liverpool to court? If so why didn't they because the implication is that football contacts aren't worth the paper etc

      And more to the point wtf, we get Mark Lawrenson and Adrian Chiles and Argentina gets Pamela david?

      A quick taste, since Robbo doesn't do visuals anymore..

      http://www.doubleviking.com/photos/pamela-david-nude-03-9713.html

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    2. that's a cracker Blog, and below it in the "you might also like" section is a bag full of fritters!

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  65. Stephen (re Anelka)

    The charges he was brought up on was because he made a racist gesture, yet the commision agrees that the gesture was not made in a racist way. Yet he still gets sanctioned, sorry, but that makes little sense.

    It may of been a daft thing to do, but if we're going to be banning footballers due to stupidity, then we might as well just pack it all in and find something else to do instead.

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    1. I think punishing anyone for 'being nicholss anelka with intent to behave like Nicolas Anelka' is perfectly legit

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    2. Well, if you put it that way......

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  66. RBA called it....

    Pope Francis inadvertently demonstrated his own fallibility during an address in St Peter’s Square when he mistakenly said the Italian word for “f**k”.
    In the 12 months since he was elected, the Argentinean Pope, who worked with the poor in the slums of Buenos Aires being before made pontiff, has shown a healthy sense of humour and an unerring ability to connect with ordinary people.
    But he accidentally went a little too far in using the language of the street after mispronouncing the word “caso”, which means example, as “cazzo” – Italian for f--- or, in other contexts, cock.
    “If each of us were to accumulate wealth not only for ourselves but to put at the service of others, in this f--- [pause], in this case God’s providence would manifest itself in this gesture of solidarity,” he told a large crowd, delivering his ‘Angelus’ address from a window overlooking St Peter’s Square.

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  67. Meanwhile I see Iscariot is claiming (to flog his book) that he was not made England Captain "becoz I is black". Nope. You were not made England captain "becoz you is a self obsessed tw@t". You can't have an England captain who goes home crying at half time. Simples (as they say).


    Jedi

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